My
co-workers and I are not excessively chummy, I get on and chat with a few, but
the rest go on about their merry with an air of, “Meh whatever” that would put
a teenager to shame. Partly this is because we do actually work and never have
deep, touching ,Oprah moments and partly it’s because I have the social graces
of an iguana on meths. Someone handed out the, “Big Rule book to making friends”
to everyone on the day I was off trying to make a bikini out of soap bubbles.
So these
humans who work with me are mostly a total mystery to me. I have very glancing
ideas of their personalities, a few odd hobbies, if they’re married, single or
one pretending to be the other, and such basic surface scratching as these. I
often wonder what they know about me. Since none of them have gawped at me or
sat at my feet and said, “Teach me oh wise one”, I can assume they don’t know
me very well and that I have a large ego.
So I like
to speculate on their lives. I have great fun selecting a target for the day
and speculating on his life. There are more guys than girls in my office. The
girls get a chance as well, but I find women tend to be very dull and terribly
predictable. I don’t see myself in the same category, more like they are women
and I am ‘Female to the left’. I suspect this is why I have so few female
friends…
Topic
shift!
I like to
use what little facts I have on my co-working mortals and then spin wild and
interesting stories on the thought patterns behind each and everyone. Who’s the
hen pecked husband? Who’s cheerful and makes the office more fun to go to? Who’d
cheat on their wife? Who’s lost hope in life? Who’d make a great friend if ever
we said more than hello? Who do I suspect doesn’t wash their hands after going
to the loo…
Now before
anyone’s fur rises and says, “But glory be, Jovvikins, how do you know that’s
what they do?”
Well of
course I bloody don’t know that’s what they do! That’s why it’s called a game!
It’s as much fun for my prancing speculations to be shown to be woefully
inaccurate as it is when I, often rather creepily, hit the nail on the head!
Humans are so desperately interesting, and they all seem to have a similarity
to them that just makes it fascinating! Like they all had a shared history I
some how skipped over (More books on life given out while I was otherwise
occupied!) But seeing how they interact, while giving them lively and
interesting histories and futures, keeps me bugger all entertained while I test
this, build that or write a quick poem on the wonders of soap. (Work does get
my creative juices cascading).
Still for
all that I intend to get to know them better, even if it is in the meandering
Jo-some way that takes ten years or more. And if a co-worker leaves, I will mourn
his loss, attribute it to aliens, dinosaurs or the illuminate, and get on with whomever’s
left. Jo’s are nothing if not flexible.
So then,
let me see what I think your life is like… Oh my, you sick twisted thing! No
wonder we’re friends! ^_-
