Once upon a time there was a dashing Prince. Good looking in a mildly inbred way.
One day the Prince decided to go forth from his proud castle out into the world!
He packed his bags with everything he would need, armed himself and leapt upon his mighty white charger! (Well actually he had to get a leg up, he needed a tad bit more exercise then he was getting but the position of prince does require a lot of office work, and he vowed to renew his gym contract the moment he got back.)
Letting forth a resounding yell, the wrought iron gates were opened and off he rode!
The Prince traveled for a long time, through hills and ditches. (Sometimes falling into the ditches when he wasn't looking but since no one else saw, it didn't count.)
Suddenly, turning a convenient corner, into the forest, the Prince came before a mighty dragon!
"Prince!" snorted the dragon, "I knew you'd come!"
"Of course!" yelled our bandy legged hero, "prepare yourself!"
The Prince withdrew his weapon, the sharpest dagger in the land, and with a flourish, cut free the bags that were on either side of his noble, if already bored, steed!
"Over here!" snarled the dragon, as it leapt into a clearing within the trees!
The Prince chased after, understanding that this would be the perfect place! The perfect setting!
With yet another flourish (Royalty like the added glamour), he tossed one of the bags at the dragon, which hit the mighty beast square in the head!
The dragon turned to him, eyes blazing and yelled, "Now why did you do that? Ouch man! I'm going to have a bruise!"
"Sorry!" said the Prince sheepishly, "You know me terrible aim and what what, shall we set up then?"
Working together the Prince and the dragon managed to get their entire picnic set up in next to no time.
"Care for a sausage?" asked the Prince, spearing one of the fat little goodies with his dagger.
"Don't mind if I do! Try the honey bread Highness, it's like, totally to die for!"
And the two spent the rest of the day, eating good food and enjoying each others company.
THE END
Tuesday, July 19, 2011
Monday, July 18, 2011
Tuesday 19 July 2011 - Spooked
Do you believe in ghosts?
I must say I'm a skeptic myself. I suspect them of being in the same league as Santa, the tooth fairy and large tax pay backs. I do know there are many weird and wonderful things out there, things that can't be explained yet by science or rational logic, like paranormal phenomenon and 80's hair, but I would think that once someone died they'd be much better off getting on with it, going to heaven or Nirvana or hoping a lift on the karmic wheel or going to Valhalla where 90 nubile, hopefully the right gender,virgins await them!
I can't imagine hanging around in spirit form would be all that fun and dandy?
All you could do was basically watch. Watch everyone else get on with their lives doing stuff you could do but can't anymore. Laugh, love, poop, eat bananas (and then have to poop again as the fruit is good fibre), and do everything while you stand around only being sensed by cats and creepy old ladies who can also predict the weather at least 50% of the time spot on!
I think it would be awful lonely.
I mean, even if you're a poltergeist and can toss a few family heirlooms artfully about a room, that's going to lose it's appeal sooner or later. (But not until after you've whisked up a few skirts and rammed cousin Vinny's face into the tomato soup for the 40th time - that's what you get for pulling my hair 56 years ago!!)
And what if there are ghost-busters and they end up catching you and you spend an eternity in a small jar, often being mistaken for a seminal sample? I've lost a lot of good friends that way!
Still a good ghost story is a lot of fun and on a rainy, cold night, and suddenly a lot more believable! I suppose it's nice t have something left that science hasn't explained away all the mystery and magic to?
Now if you'll excuse me I have to go and remove a poltergeist from my underwear draw again! I swear they always seem to accumulate in there!
I must say I'm a skeptic myself. I suspect them of being in the same league as Santa, the tooth fairy and large tax pay backs. I do know there are many weird and wonderful things out there, things that can't be explained yet by science or rational logic, like paranormal phenomenon and 80's hair, but I would think that once someone died they'd be much better off getting on with it, going to heaven or Nirvana or hoping a lift on the karmic wheel or going to Valhalla where 90 nubile, hopefully the right gender,virgins await them!
I can't imagine hanging around in spirit form would be all that fun and dandy?
All you could do was basically watch. Watch everyone else get on with their lives doing stuff you could do but can't anymore. Laugh, love, poop, eat bananas (and then have to poop again as the fruit is good fibre), and do everything while you stand around only being sensed by cats and creepy old ladies who can also predict the weather at least 50% of the time spot on!
I think it would be awful lonely.
I mean, even if you're a poltergeist and can toss a few family heirlooms artfully about a room, that's going to lose it's appeal sooner or later. (But not until after you've whisked up a few skirts and rammed cousin Vinny's face into the tomato soup for the 40th time - that's what you get for pulling my hair 56 years ago!!)
And what if there are ghost-busters and they end up catching you and you spend an eternity in a small jar, often being mistaken for a seminal sample? I've lost a lot of good friends that way!
Still a good ghost story is a lot of fun and on a rainy, cold night, and suddenly a lot more believable! I suppose it's nice t have something left that science hasn't explained away all the mystery and magic to?
Now if you'll excuse me I have to go and remove a poltergeist from my underwear draw again! I swear they always seem to accumulate in there!
Saturday, July 16, 2011
Saturday 16 Junly 2011 - Imagine...
Imagine if this world was a better place. If people loved each other freely and with deep emotional bonds and kinship to all. Imagine there was no war, no poverty, no disease and no one left wanting. Imagine if humanity worked together for a shared future, a paradise on earth?
Now imagine if the earth was invaded by giant lizard people! Imagine they had huge stun guns and liked to catch people and keep them like livestock and breed them for the table and fancy eating!!!
Well there you go! A nice brain work out for you!
Bill's in the mail.
Now imagine if the earth was invaded by giant lizard people! Imagine they had huge stun guns and liked to catch people and keep them like livestock and breed them for the table and fancy eating!!!
Well there you go! A nice brain work out for you!
Bill's in the mail.
Thursday, July 14, 2011
Friday 15 July 2011 - Don't be a Fuel!
At this rate, with The Strike still on, soon all South Africans are going to have to find a new way to get to work that doesn't involve petrol. Which is a HECK of a lot easier said then done! A big Thank you by the way to the SA laws that allow one small group to hold the entire country hostage in a cute move that would be labeled "terrorism" elsewhere but here is just your average everyday strike, eish!
Anyway I was being proactive and thinking of different ways people could get to work! Like:-
1. If they live in a 10km radius of work they could walk! Get out of bed, put their takkies on and go for a nice stroll in the sunshine. (Or, since it's winter, the blistering cold). Mind I suppose most desk jockeys would collapse less then a kilometer in, but nothing says "take time-off-work" like a small, near fatal heart attack!
Or maybe strap on a pair of roller skates? I'm sure once you get over the broken-teeth option it could be quiet a lot of fun!
2. Take the Gautrain! Annoy all the people who use it already by flooding in and making them have to stand because you're "in my seat!" Well it doesn't have your name on it so...oh wait it does? Who knew a ball pen could write on vinyl?
3. Catch a black taxi. Get to find out if 50 people really can occupy less then 2 meters squared, get up close and personal to your seatmate's armpits and get sweetly serenaded by whatever fouly bad R&B music is DA-DOOFING out the speaker conveniently placed by your head.
4. Car pool with friends or neighbours. This is less crowded then the taxi option but does slam you with the 'awkward silences' bit, once talk of how well you slept, and "my isn't it cold" has been used up. A quick solution is to suddenly become fascinated with staring out the window at all the beautiful scenery going by.(Hey is that man doing what I think he's doing?!)
5. Start cycling to work! This is like walking on fast forward. If you're unfit though you get the same results as walking in Rewind. Though you will develop a stunning set of calf muscles, that people will Ooh and Aah about once they get over your ripe B.O.
6. Get a horse or mule. This is south africa. No one's naive enough to think this will be the last time this happens! Consider it an investment in transportation and lawn fertilization!
Well here's to the strike being over as soon as possible and things returning to, ah, "normal"!
Until then, Happy Creative Thinking Everyone!
Anyway I was being proactive and thinking of different ways people could get to work! Like:-
1. If they live in a 10km radius of work they could walk! Get out of bed, put their takkies on and go for a nice stroll in the sunshine. (Or, since it's winter, the blistering cold). Mind I suppose most desk jockeys would collapse less then a kilometer in, but nothing says "take time-off-work" like a small, near fatal heart attack!
Or maybe strap on a pair of roller skates? I'm sure once you get over the broken-teeth option it could be quiet a lot of fun!
2. Take the Gautrain! Annoy all the people who use it already by flooding in and making them have to stand because you're "in my seat!" Well it doesn't have your name on it so...oh wait it does? Who knew a ball pen could write on vinyl?
3. Catch a black taxi. Get to find out if 50 people really can occupy less then 2 meters squared, get up close and personal to your seatmate's armpits and get sweetly serenaded by whatever fouly bad R&B music is DA-DOOFING out the speaker conveniently placed by your head.
4. Car pool with friends or neighbours. This is less crowded then the taxi option but does slam you with the 'awkward silences' bit, once talk of how well you slept, and "my isn't it cold" has been used up. A quick solution is to suddenly become fascinated with staring out the window at all the beautiful scenery going by.(Hey is that man doing what I think he's doing?!)
5. Start cycling to work! This is like walking on fast forward. If you're unfit though you get the same results as walking in Rewind. Though you will develop a stunning set of calf muscles, that people will Ooh and Aah about once they get over your ripe B.O.
6. Get a horse or mule. This is south africa. No one's naive enough to think this will be the last time this happens! Consider it an investment in transportation and lawn fertilization!
Well here's to the strike being over as soon as possible and things returning to, ah, "normal"!
Until then, Happy Creative Thinking Everyone!
Wednesday, July 13, 2011
Tuesday, July 12, 2011
Wednesday 13 July 2011 - like it hate it, still true
"My faith is true because I fan feel it! I'm sure of it!!"
This, I find, is the number one explanation most people have of why their faith is right and everyone else is, quiet obviously, WRONG!!
I do often wonder if they never realize that a Christian has the exact same feeling that his godling is the right one! That a Muslim knows without a shadow of a doubt that his Allah is all gold! That a moon cult will happily give their lives to board the mother ship because their faith, their feelings, their certainty, was undeniable, unshakable!
And other people laugh at their gullibility, before going into religious service to hear about their own faiths that bring about their own certainty, undeniable and unshakeable!
But, they cry, my religion is popular! There are lots of followers, ergo it must be right!
Even if eons ago the worship of gods on the mountains was the most popular and theirs only started from a lucky break, doesn't matter, it has to be true
cause... cause... cause....
I feel it! I have faith! I know it to the pit of my heart and soul!!!
Just like every other member of every other religion.
That's what faith is.
Having faith doesn't make you automatically right, regardless of the feelings in your heart, soul or left elbow.
It makes you faithful to one set of beliefs.
Oh I'm not dissing religion, it's a terribly useful social tool, if not as much now then as before, it's still something not to be toyed with.
I'm more just trying to remind folk that they should keep an open mind and remember that yes, there is a chance you could be wrong, and that therefore you should always try and grow and learn as a person and change your thoughts and beliefs as you do! If you find flaws, don't turn a blind eye, question, explore, ask! Grow yourself so that when you do say, "I am a christian, Buddhist, Jew, etc" you can do so from a platform of openness, honesty and tolerance.
To stagnate, with your life built up only on faith of one belief that wants you to exclude all others, follow blindly and donate generously...
How you waste yourself.
This, I find, is the number one explanation most people have of why their faith is right and everyone else is, quiet obviously, WRONG!!
I do often wonder if they never realize that a Christian has the exact same feeling that his godling is the right one! That a Muslim knows without a shadow of a doubt that his Allah is all gold! That a moon cult will happily give their lives to board the mother ship because their faith, their feelings, their certainty, was undeniable, unshakable!
And other people laugh at their gullibility, before going into religious service to hear about their own faiths that bring about their own certainty, undeniable and unshakeable!
But, they cry, my religion is popular! There are lots of followers, ergo it must be right!
Even if eons ago the worship of gods on the mountains was the most popular and theirs only started from a lucky break, doesn't matter, it has to be true
cause... cause... cause....
I feel it! I have faith! I know it to the pit of my heart and soul!!!
Just like every other member of every other religion.
That's what faith is.
Having faith doesn't make you automatically right, regardless of the feelings in your heart, soul or left elbow.
It makes you faithful to one set of beliefs.
Oh I'm not dissing religion, it's a terribly useful social tool, if not as much now then as before, it's still something not to be toyed with.
I'm more just trying to remind folk that they should keep an open mind and remember that yes, there is a chance you could be wrong, and that therefore you should always try and grow and learn as a person and change your thoughts and beliefs as you do! If you find flaws, don't turn a blind eye, question, explore, ask! Grow yourself so that when you do say, "I am a christian, Buddhist, Jew, etc" you can do so from a platform of openness, honesty and tolerance.
To stagnate, with your life built up only on faith of one belief that wants you to exclude all others, follow blindly and donate generously...
How you waste yourself.
Monday, July 11, 2011
Tuesday 12 July 2011 - Well well
Forget your grandmother's pearls or that deep shade of lipstick.
Forget your Armani Tie or those cufflinks Churchill once wore, maybe.
Forget your favorite sweater, those pants with the knife edge crease or those heels that clack so satisfyingly on marble surfaces.
Forget all that jazz because no one really notices anyway!
If you really want an accessory to capture people's eyes and attention:-
SMILE!!!
If nothing else, it leaves them wondering...
p.s. Though anyone who owns and wears ALL of the above I've written will, of course, leave us all wondering as well...
Forget your Armani Tie or those cufflinks Churchill once wore, maybe.
Forget your favorite sweater, those pants with the knife edge crease or those heels that clack so satisfyingly on marble surfaces.
Forget all that jazz because no one really notices anyway!
If you really want an accessory to capture people's eyes and attention:-
SMILE!!!
If nothing else, it leaves them wondering...
p.s. Though anyone who owns and wears ALL of the above I've written will, of course, leave us all wondering as well...
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