Saturday 30 April 2011 - turn it upside down

We're all told, "The thing in life that stays the same is change". So why is it that folk seem to expect everyone, except themselves, to always be the same, pretty much from the day they're born to the day the go to that Spirit in the sky?

We change and we do it constantly. If we're lucky we keep changing and trying to change for the better! And one of the best ways to do that is to try and accept that Happiness is not a goal, but rather the journey! < - - which you've heard a zillion times before and probably ignored a zillion times more!

It's like when people talk about how they are going to be happy. If they just get this job, buy these shoes, snog that guy etc. Then they will be happy. But, hello there, I'm afraid it doesn't work that way because:-

1. When you say you plan to be happy when x, y or z happens then you deny yourself any of the fun and joy you could be getting out of this moment right now! Right now is all you ever have! The past and the future are two places where your VIP card still doesn't entitle you to live. NOW is your past and your future happening. NOW is your moment!

2. And what happens when you do get your thing, job or person and you are happy. Do you think it will just last on into all eternity? Frozen in time, no change, no poopiness, every again? Nope, 'fraid not. You still have to work at it, or else you'll just become disillusioned and go after yet again something else that you are sure will this time make you happy, like a morbid hamster just trundling on that wheel, sure you'll get there any day now...

Happiness is not a destination, life changes and you change, happiness is fluid, it's this moment right now that you have!

I mean think of it like this. If you try to get as much happiness as you can out of every moment then guess what? Suddenly you end up with a past of joy and many glorious moments, a present that's hey, not so bad, and a future full of possibilities for goodness!

Now of course bad things happen and test you and crap, they can be horrid!! But if you still try find what joy you can in the day, well, maybe it won't be so crushingly bad? Take a walk, sniff the flowers, have a hot bubble bath, get a cuddle, watch your favorite program, and suddenly life doesn't seem so hell bent on "getting" you!

If you don't seize the moment then you'll always just end up drifting along a sea of "one days" and "some days" and it's a very very unfulfilling, smelly journey!

So why not try, even just for today, to be a bit more positive, regardless of your situation, and see what the day brings and how it ends, I think perhaps, you might be mightily surprised!

Friday 29 April 2011 - Public Hollies

Today's thought is just on the simple, perfect pleasures of public holidays! Sadly, because I don't work, people seem to think for me a public holiday should, oh well, just be another la-di-da day in the life of Jo.
Not so, not so!

Public holidays mean two things!

1. All the shops close at inconvenient times. I'm not too keen on that one but sacrifices have to be made. Besides, rampant commercialism ensures they don't close quiet as early as they used to! Viva Capitalistic greed! Oh and you do get to meet people this way! It's true! Why on Saturday (After Good Friday but Before actual Easter whammy), we got to meet everyone who lived in a 4 square mile radius as they were all at the exact same mall, and in the exact same queue that we were standing in! How very social!

2. Other people I like and know, and am not elbowing past in crowds, are home on public holidays as well! This ensures that Jo's get some much needed human interaction and entertainment!!

There's also often religious or some such finicky reasons as to why the public holiday exists but I leave that to the professionals, the bored, and the fanatical. They love that sort of stuff! The only down side is that people, being on holiday, don't exactly advertise a 101 jobs for those of us who need them. (Or just me!!)

Still, win some, lose some, carry on smiling like a Cheshire cat!

Thursday 28 April 2011 - beat beat tap twirl

Isn't music wonderful?! Yes I probably have gone on and on about it before... and if not then ah well, what a perfect time to do so! (Hey it's my thought of the day, this is my thought, let's just go with that and forget any small, timely memory lapses - um should one have happened! < - - can't remember)

What always gets me is, what exactly is it about music that shimmies up our spines and lodges so effectively in our minds? How does various noises played together be able to affect a person so much emotionally? And why is it basically humans (and plants if science is right and not just pulling our leg to hear the bells tingle), that get so affected by it?

And how is it that different sorts of tunes hit different people, well differently? I mean play R & B or Hip Hop music around me and prepare for a snarl of distaste and your radio / mp.3 player / gadgetety-music-thing suffering a sudden unfortunate accident as it leaps off a high ledge to it's death and the saving of all delicate earlobes!

And what an array of emotions music can stir! Love, admiration, peace, anger, hate.. work those lyrics right and you can puppet almost anyone to feel what you want them to! Heck sometimes all you need is a catchy beat and a slathering audience to pull it off! (I suspect that's part of why some songs become popular, the music is infectious and it's only some months later people read the lyrics, if at all, and realize what a lame ass thing it is!)

Anyway off to listen to some music of my own and see where it leads my little, defenseless mind! Hmmmmn, wonder what "Death Metal" is...

Saturday 23 April 2011 - Easter Egged

Aaah Easter holidays rock! I like them almost as much as Christmas. (Though in Xmas I actually get given things I can eat, or at least barter with...)

Easter egg hunting is fun though. I remember doing it as a kid! We were so thorough! We looked in places no sane adult would ever hide chocolaty goodness and were always slightly put out when we'd found every egg! (There's never enough in the minds of children).

As an adult (I am! I am! I am!), I found, if you hide eggs, it's best to sort of map out where you hid them, before the kids complain they're one egg short and you find something white and fluffy gently mouldering in the cupboard 6 months later.

I also love all the public holidays strung together, like fairy lights to enchant the working moths. I wonder that anything ever gets done in April with the mass evacuations from all forms of work and duty!

But enough talk about it! It's Saturday! Day after Good Friday (which was very good!) and Easter Sunday (Which will be very good!) and it's time to get up and get cracking if I'm going to waste the day effectively!

p.s. For a heathen I sure know my religious holidays hey? Sainthood might not yet be out of reach!

Thursday 21 April 2011 - tick tock ms Jovvi tick tock

I am now waiting for blood-work to come back from the labs to tell me what my problem is. (It's a physical one, any mental issues I have are still a not so well kept secret!)
But it's very unnerving! (The waiting not the mental issues...)

Firstly because I have to take my phone off silent and put it on... Not Silent! Usually when I do this people will phone me and my phone will, "La laa la la laaaaa" right when I'm walking past some greasy looking thugs who look like they want to do weird and heinous things to me already!
It's like saying, "Look! Look! The small, white lady who couldn't defend herself without a serious arsenal of things that go BOOM, is carrying a cell phone you can swipe if you just reach out and go for your dreams!"

Secondly because I have no clue what the results will be! I already know I have wonky blood (all the platelets are in chains or exploded, I'm not sure what that means but I doubt raised eyebrows and a sudden intake of breath are a good thing...), so what else can they tell me?

I'll admit I'm a lot more patient then I sound but that doesn't mean I'm not as nervous as a fox with hounds a bangin' at my front door and me all out of Earl Gray Tea!

On the plus side I get the piece of mind to know that. if I'm doomed, at least I'll know how, why and what to put on my Gravestone. (Though I plan to be cremated but I don't mind a small shrine being made to me, you know, if you want to...), and, if I'm okay, alright, and just peachy keen, then the Oscar for being way over melodramatic is mine again this year!! HAHAHAHA!!!

Okay time to wait!

Yeah.

Cough.

Hmmm.

*twiddles button*

Any moment now...

*scratches nose*

Yip.

You may want to go do something else now...

Wednesday 20 April 2011 - coughing up

Now I'm grateful for doctors, they help us with our boo-boos and prescribe awesome drugs and only ever need to be sued now and then, but I must admit I don't like going to them! They give me the shivers and that's only partly due to the fact that they NEVER heat up the frikkin' stethoscope!

I think it's because I remember that they got where they are today by slicing up cadavers, that's never very reassuring when you go into an operating room, I mean mess up on a corpse its not exactly going to say, "Ow! Ow! Ow! You're doing it wrong doc and now I'm effectively neutered!"

I also don't like going because of the chance that the doc will find some hitherto unknown sickness or disease in me. Like it was never there till Doctor Meddle went ahead and found it and forced it to make it's presence felt!

Also doctors can be very clinical, so to speak. They're not too good with their bedside manner and can break the most ghastly news without breaking a sweat. "You're going to suffer like no one's business, here's some medicine and don't forget to pay at reception!" Ta doc, your a gem!

Of course it's nice when the lad* gives you a clean bill of health and all, that's peachy, but of course by the time you've paid up for learning that sterling bit of info, your now anemic wallet tends to leave you lightheaded and woozy and in need of medical attention!

Doctors, can't live with em, can't live without em, can't rely on religious healers to make THE SERPENT BE GONE!!


* Yes I know there are woman doctors as well, with hands just as cold and eyes like gimlets, but I'm quiet keen on some social stereotypes!

Tuesday 19 april 2011 - pre-emptive strike!!

The Holiday's coming! The holiday's coming! And what have you got planned?

Not being an egg muncher of any size or shape, I still do like all these holidays because everyone is home to play! Hazzah!!
(Except for those who are going away, but we shall not talk of their dastardly betrayal...)

From Friday onwards we'll have a week to pack with interesting and entertaining events! There's always a zillion things to do when folk are home and therefore vulnerable to suggestion!

There are puzzles to be solved, games to be played, movies to be watched, walks to be walked, grapes to be eaten (I'll do that!), people to be visited and other people to annoy! I swear it's a full package!!!

So even though it's early I'm going to wish you a HAPPY EASTER!!! Enjoy it, have fun, and leave reality to fend for itself for a while, okay?!
*THUMBS UP!*

Monday 18 April 2011 - the decent into madness

Winter is coming? Let me scratch that and say that winter is here! Sob sob, it looks so cold and grey outside! This is such cuddle weather but the hamster is playing hard to get!
"I'll replace you with a fat, fluffy rabbit you ungrateful seed muncher!!!"
*And the hamster carries on his business, safe in the knowledge that he is not going anywhere - least of all out into the cold!*

I need to go and form a small, whimpering ball of human misery on my bed right now, so much to do, so much to do....

Thursday 14 April 2011 - brrrrr

Winter is coming.
Oh we still get warmth during the day, but those tell tale frosty mornings and noons are beginning to make their presence felt, like that creepy guy at work who keeps watching you, wantonly...

I'm in two minds about winter (luckily both work just fine), I like that the Blazing Inferno that is Summer calms down and that mosquitoes are banished from the land of the living and cuddling up, with a loved one or well placed heating device, is very very awesome....but then summer fruit also disappears and with it the wonderful reign of the proud watermelon! Also it gets COLD! (I know cold in winter, what will they think of next), and I'm not a fan of frostbite and icy cold ears and toes snapping off and flying into a passer-byers coffee!

And while I do love being a morning person, I also find it a special kind of hell leaping out of bed at 5am and having every arctic particle in the room come swarming around my body, feeding off my precious heat reserves!

And my poor hands get so cold and people always say heartless things like, "GET THOSE THINGS AWAY FROM MY WARM BELLY THIS INSTANT!!!"

Still, I get to wear my balaclava and and eat cold food till I'm shaking so bad it's like an attack of Double Disco Fever! So there are some pluses!

So do you feel frosty, punk?

Wednesday 19 April 2011 - roll role models

Did you ever have an idol or hero or even just someone really snazzy that you tried to be like? I don't mean imitated exactly, or stalked through their bushes, stealing their undies off the line and snuggling up to them in the dark whispering intoxicating things, but I mean more someone you admired and thought, cor blimey, you have some nifty traits, I'd like to have them as well!

I'll admit I've tried this but it never seems to work. I am always lured away from one potential role model to another. It's really sort of entertaining, finding different attributes in different people to like and admire and aim for and then bugger off and do something else, leaving with varying amounts of success!

In a way though I like to think this is healthy. (I'm unsure about what psychologists would say but they do tend to waffle on a bit so we'll skip them all together and hope their feelings aren't hurt), anyway, back on the subject, I think it's kind of nice to be able to see good traits in people and want to be a better person because of it. And it is terribly fun when you realize you've picked up a good habit! Like my my, where ever did this compassion come from? And wow it matches my eyes perfectly!!!

Some people have the same role models their entire life, others change with the season, and some poor unlucky bastards, my view but it counts, don't have anyone at all!

So who is / was your hero growing up? And are they still, even now?

Tuesday 12 April 2011 - nursing aid

Going to the hospital with my housemate and his dad today!

I like hospitals, the smell is very nostalgic. My mum was a nurse (She fixed other people and broke her own kids, there's a deep irony in that...) and she used to leave us children over night at the hospital. We'd sleep in the disused kid's trauma unit. Any bed we wanted! And play with all the toys there for the sick kids that always had pieces missing which was rather sad if you think about it.

My brothers and I would always sneak away from the ward nurse and go to the floor with the sweet shop and buy Chappies bubble gum! (Back then it cost only a few cents and was, we felt, good value for money). Sometimes we'd eat hospital food. This had mixed reviews.

Looking at all the equipment and trying to figure out what it was for was terribly entertaining! Swiping plastic arm bands and playing with syringes (it's a wonder only one of us developed a drug habit - and no it wasn't me), and wearing the nurses hat and jacket, all of this was just awesome for kids under 9 years old!!

All of this has given me a very positive spin on hospitals. Even having to go there for serious stuff has not taken away that shine. In my books hospitals are okay!

Hey think I could get a job in one?! Oh man sheesh, don't look so panicked! :P

Monday 11 April 2011 - A change is as good as a holiday - well not really

So today I think yellow is a really awesome colour. A few weeks ago it was green, and before that red was in the hot seat and preening!

I like to change and keep things interesting! Today I adore this movie, tomorrow that one, this week it's all about the socks, next week all about gloves! (My hands are unnaturally cold and I worry they'll go Snappity snap when winter comes a rap-tap-tapping on my window).

It's nice to be flexible and open to change! A lot of folk I know are so rigid and set in their ways that you have to do things x, y, z or you get judged and found wanting and not invited to parties or mime shows!

Eeek, don't get me wrong! I have a core of warm, molten values and beliefs that I will never change or compromise! Basic good and decency that aren't going anywhere, anytime soon! *bubble bubble*

But for the rest I like having an open mind! This has lead to a love of a HUGE range of music, different (and often clashing) fashions, thoughts, ideas and interests! It keeps life unbelievably entertaining and makes almost everything worth sticking your nose into and investigating!
(Even if occasionally your nose get seared and you have to pull back fast!)

So I'm off to see what today's holding in it's big, grubby fists! Something wow? Hopefully not a big fat spider!! < - - Monday's have a strange sense of humour!
See you there!

Sunday 10 April 2011 - Precisely

Each day is one day less that we have to tell people how important they are to us, how much we love them, care for them and value them in our lives. One day that you'll never ever get back again, holy crap, what a thought!!!

So for goodness gracious! Why are you sitting here reading this when there are so many people out there waiting for you?

Saturday 09 April 2011 - my view

"Judge a man not by how he treats those he cares for, but how he treats those he doesn't"

It's true! It's easy to be nice to your loved ones, but what about those folk you don't "have" to be nice to? To your annoying co-workers? Your ex? A complete random stranger? How do you treat those people?

Kindness costs nothing.

Friday 08 April 2011 - Das Goet!!

I was going to write something here about being a good person and not holding grudges and never over-taking without using your flicker light and other such wise bits of chewable information, but I'm feeling too lazy too!

It's a Friday! And the knowledge that I can sleep in late, that there's two whole days following to goof off in and that I won't be out walking in the cold... Oh me, oh my!! That in itself is worth celebrating!!!

So here's to the weekend and the all over good vibes it brings us, free of charge!
Have a great one!!!!!

Thursday 07 April 2011 - for sure

Sometimes a big change can really throw you for a loop! You're horrified, terrified and utterly at a loss! It seems life has never been so cruel and what in the world are you to do?!

And then, a few months later, you look back and you think HOLY WOW, I am so much better for it! I've grown, I've learnt, I've become more then I thought I could be and there's still more to come!
Thank you God / Buddha / Golden Cow Idol!!!

You never know when what might seem a curse will turn into a blessing.

Life is funny that way!

Wednesday 06 April 2011 - Not Icky

Yesterday I picked out a rune stone that told me that Tuesday would be a gift. I was a touch skeptical, and as Tuesday wore on I began to think that I should seriously take up another hobby, like maybe knitting or drilling for oil.

But then, as the night was drawing to a close, I had something happen to me that made me reconsider.

Now I must admit I am not a perfect person (I know amazing hey, but it’s true!), and one of my biggest flaws is my ability to find almost anything funny and to write about it, sometimes without taking other people’s feelings into consideration, too intent on sharing the story to think that hey, some people might actually get hurt or offended by the way I write it or how I word it. Tact hasn’t been my strongest point and I admit I still have a long way to go before I get that right! Though when I am confronted I am only too ready to apologize and grovel for forgiveness and try make amends.

But I can say one thing. It is unintentional! I can look myself in the eye (with the help of a mirror), and tell myself that, yes, Jovvi, what were you thinking?!? But. as well, you didn’t mean to hurt anyone’s feelings and basically you unintentionally did something really daft, LEARN FROM IT!!

And that’s the big difference for me!!
It’s unintentional!

From personal experience I can say that to be intentionally attacked by someone is one of the most emotionally painful things you can go through! To see someone write things with the express hope that it will hurt you and leave you feeling ghastly about yourself and your self worth? To know that they are being cruel with no other reason then to hurt and maim and wound… it’s terrifying!! Whatever else I can do, or how much I might dislike someone, that I will never do!

~~~***THAT I WILL NEVER DO!!!***~~~

And because of that, and perhaps only that, I am still able to look myself in that mirror and forgive my sometimes awfully tactless covering on a subject and I can still feel that deep down, maybe, just maybe, I am still a good person!

So perhaps that rune stone was right after all?
Still I’d have preferred a box of socks as the gift… :P

Tuesday 05 April 2011 - genuine fakeness

So how do I assume a persona?

People don't seem to like humour or friendliness or good will or even eagerness in the work place! They seem repulsed at people who are just genuinely themselves! If you don't have "Toady" written on your back and an "Okie Dokie Dukie" kind of mentality then you're going to have some serious problems, most especially in my Arch Nemesis - finding employment!

Seriously! At interviews they always ask similar questions and expect, not a truthful answer, but some contrived piece of drivel stolen from a, "pass your interview first time" Manuel!
Hell no way am I doing that! I might as well just hand such a book over and tell them to look up the answers they want themselves!

I'm not disrespectful of the fine art of butt kissing, I'm just not a devout practitioner myself. I think I'm going to die of starvation without a job but bursting with personality!

Still I'm hopeful, some one out there must like genuine people!!
Right?

Monday 04 April - simply put

Now I just want to be FREE!