And so it happens, your eye's open with a near audible 'POP' and you think to yourself, "Woohoo!! It's a new day! I'm up! I'm alive! I'm ready to make this day sing soprano for me!!"
And then you bounce out of bed, slam the light on, cringe a few minutes as your eyes adjust, because it's ALWAYS brighter then you expect it to be, and fling open your cupboard to find something comfie to wear, avoiding a small avalanche of shoes in the process! (You can't have too many shoes, it's a biological fact!)
You slide on all your clothing in random order, whisk yourself to the kitchen and nosh down on a flavourful breakfast! (May I recommend very ripe bananas? They're the gods' gift to mornings!)
Then you gather all your goodies together, bid your warm, odd-smelling nest goodbye and head on outside feeling rather light headed with the adventure of it all.
Only to realize it's looking rather dark.
And your tummy gives an uneasy flippity-flop as your eyes try frantically to tell you a satisfactory story on why it's so dark.
Surely that's a street lamp and not a star? Um, it could be an eclipse? Doesn't it get darker in winter? If I just blink hard enough...
And you look at your cellphone (who wears a watch-a-ma-call-it these days?), and realize that yes, it's 3am, congratulations on having a few extra hours in the morning!
So you go back inside and you wonder.
You can't really go back to sleep because you're in all your natty clothing for the day. You can't really head off early to the office / shops / urologists, because no one is open this early. If you're lucky you have a good book to read, a blog to update or a facebook game that require 15 more points to get to level 'no-else-cares'.
It's an odd sensation.
But sort of nice.
Like you're the only person alive in the world!
Ok, also sort of creepy.
What then, my little friend, do you do with those extra hours?
Sunday, July 31, 2011
Thursday, July 28, 2011
Friday 29 July 2011 - added extras
Why are fancy clothes always so uncomfortable? *Wriggles around madly looking oddly like a dog scootering about who has worms*
Great high heels that make your calves look like sculptured steel also make your feet feel like they're caught in a sentient bear trap that's taking a good gnaw or your flavourful flesh!!
A nice, smart blouse constantly itches your back between the shoulder blades like a 4 year old pulling on your skirt going, "Look! Look! Loooooook!" and the skirt itself rides up here and down there and goes places no skirt should go without first buying you dinner and a movie!
Some people put on makeup, usually women but goths and metro-sexual males as well, but I steer clear of the stuff! Makes my skin feel ghastly and I always worry about the mass lipstick intake I gobble down whenever I smile, talk or breathe. And then something small gets in your eye, only you can't rub it cause you'll muss your eyeliner and powders and unguents and stuff, so you go around blinking furiously looking like a pirate with a facial tick!
And then jewelry? Oh hell no! Especially necklaces. I tend to fiddle with them and half strangling myself with a faux ruby choker! Or I forget I'm wearing it and you hear the chain musically snap as you wrench your shirt off in enthusiastic abandonment! And dangly earrings look great, right until they snag on your shoulder and you walk around like Quasimodo's lop-sided sister!
Man, people should hire you for your skills and your savvy! (I put that last one in because I don't have that many skills but I still want to be hired!). They shouldn't hire you for how well you fill in a tight, perky top or Armani suit!
So saying let me go get ready for my interview!
Now where is that sexy, perky, tight top of mine...
Great high heels that make your calves look like sculptured steel also make your feet feel like they're caught in a sentient bear trap that's taking a good gnaw or your flavourful flesh!!
A nice, smart blouse constantly itches your back between the shoulder blades like a 4 year old pulling on your skirt going, "Look! Look! Loooooook!" and the skirt itself rides up here and down there and goes places no skirt should go without first buying you dinner and a movie!
Some people put on makeup, usually women but goths and metro-sexual males as well, but I steer clear of the stuff! Makes my skin feel ghastly and I always worry about the mass lipstick intake I gobble down whenever I smile, talk or breathe. And then something small gets in your eye, only you can't rub it cause you'll muss your eyeliner and powders and unguents and stuff, so you go around blinking furiously looking like a pirate with a facial tick!
And then jewelry? Oh hell no! Especially necklaces. I tend to fiddle with them and half strangling myself with a faux ruby choker! Or I forget I'm wearing it and you hear the chain musically snap as you wrench your shirt off in enthusiastic abandonment! And dangly earrings look great, right until they snag on your shoulder and you walk around like Quasimodo's lop-sided sister!
Man, people should hire you for your skills and your savvy! (I put that last one in because I don't have that many skills but I still want to be hired!). They shouldn't hire you for how well you fill in a tight, perky top or Armani suit!
So saying let me go get ready for my interview!
Now where is that sexy, perky, tight top of mine...
Wednesday, July 27, 2011
Thursday 28 July 2011 - could I have a moment of your time?
What is your purpose in life? What were you, specifically, put on earth to do? What are you striving towards? Are you going to finish that or can I have it?
You know I was thinking,(it's a hobby of mine), about Jehovah witnesses. You know, those bandy legged women and intense starved men who stop you in the street with pamphlets and a foam encrusted smile. We've all been there, done that, ducked into an alley till they're thrown off the scent...
And for once it wasn't just thinking of them in the 'haha-those-guys-need-a-life-and-a-clue' kind of way. (Though that did pop up for a bit, I had to be true to form.)
I've just noticed that people who feel they have a purpose in their lives tend to be a bit happier then those who feel they don't. They have a sense of security while others drift about, never sure what to do or who to do it with (or sometimes to...)
Granted many of these purposeful people can get self righteous and tend to be rather aggressive, ahem... sorry... assertive, in pushing their views on others so that on principle we learn to dislike them and avoid anyone who looks a bit too keen to have "a moment of your time?"
But it's still nice to belong to a group. Everyone wants to belong. Even those who don't want to belong, want people to know they belong to the group that doesn't belong! I know because I belong there! Haha, see? You noticed me! You noticed me!!!
Life without some sort of aim can get a bit blah and pedantic after a while. You sort of feel like you're swimming in molasses, sort of going no where slowly and just ending up in a sticky, pointless mess at the end.
Mind people also don't need that much to feel they have a purpose! Sometimes just setting small goals for yourself is enough! You want to get further at work, find the love of your life, make your children happy, weed the garden or marry the goat, whatever takes your fancy. It still gives you a feeling of going somewhere and doing something!
Because we all need something in our lives to add, well something to our lives! Purpose! Meaning! To feel useful! To feel life means something and isn't just a way station until something else better comes along. (Which is ironic if you think of a Jehovah Witness's Manifesto...)
So what is your purpose in life?
I'll tell you mine if you tell me yours! ^_^
You know I was thinking,(it's a hobby of mine), about Jehovah witnesses. You know, those bandy legged women and intense starved men who stop you in the street with pamphlets and a foam encrusted smile. We've all been there, done that, ducked into an alley till they're thrown off the scent...
And for once it wasn't just thinking of them in the 'haha-those-guys-need-a-life-and-a-clue' kind of way. (Though that did pop up for a bit, I had to be true to form.)
I've just noticed that people who feel they have a purpose in their lives tend to be a bit happier then those who feel they don't. They have a sense of security while others drift about, never sure what to do or who to do it with (or sometimes to...)
Granted many of these purposeful people can get self righteous and tend to be rather aggressive, ahem... sorry... assertive, in pushing their views on others so that on principle we learn to dislike them and avoid anyone who looks a bit too keen to have "a moment of your time?"
But it's still nice to belong to a group. Everyone wants to belong. Even those who don't want to belong, want people to know they belong to the group that doesn't belong! I know because I belong there! Haha, see? You noticed me! You noticed me!!!
Life without some sort of aim can get a bit blah and pedantic after a while. You sort of feel like you're swimming in molasses, sort of going no where slowly and just ending up in a sticky, pointless mess at the end.
Mind people also don't need that much to feel they have a purpose! Sometimes just setting small goals for yourself is enough! You want to get further at work, find the love of your life, make your children happy, weed the garden or marry the goat, whatever takes your fancy. It still gives you a feeling of going somewhere and doing something!
Because we all need something in our lives to add, well something to our lives! Purpose! Meaning! To feel useful! To feel life means something and isn't just a way station until something else better comes along. (Which is ironic if you think of a Jehovah Witness's Manifesto...)
So what is your purpose in life?
I'll tell you mine if you tell me yours! ^_^
Tuesday, July 26, 2011
Wednesday 27 July 2011 - GOOD vibrations!
Do you ever wake up with a very happy, warm, jittery feeling like you just know something good is going to happen and you don't know what but you're really, really excited about it anyway? You feel happy, and light and as joyful as Pollyanna on uppers!
Mind I've often had this feeling and nothing particularly MIND BLOWINGLY AWESOME has happened each time. In fact once or twice the day has also even taken a turn for the worse and I've felt most let down by the emotional false advertizing!
It's not ESP or a premonition, I have the psychic abilities of a shy lemon, it's just a good all over feeling that's decided to take charge for the day! I'd blame the bananas I have for breakfast but they're innocent of all charges!
Whatever could cause this?
Well I don't know, not a clue! And today could be good, could be bad, could be one where intensive therapy with anatomically correct dolls is required afterwards!
BUT!!!
I'm going to enjoy this feeling to the fullest for however long it's here for and not bother with all the nitty-gritties until afterwards, if at all ever!
Aaaah I could hug the world!!! (But only if some folk took a bath first, good hygiene is not to be sneezed at!)
Have a BEAUTIFUL DAY!!
Mind I've often had this feeling and nothing particularly MIND BLOWINGLY AWESOME has happened each time. In fact once or twice the day has also even taken a turn for the worse and I've felt most let down by the emotional false advertizing!
It's not ESP or a premonition, I have the psychic abilities of a shy lemon, it's just a good all over feeling that's decided to take charge for the day! I'd blame the bananas I have for breakfast but they're innocent of all charges!
Whatever could cause this?
Well I don't know, not a clue! And today could be good, could be bad, could be one where intensive therapy with anatomically correct dolls is required afterwards!
BUT!!!
I'm going to enjoy this feeling to the fullest for however long it's here for and not bother with all the nitty-gritties until afterwards, if at all ever!
Aaaah I could hug the world!!! (But only if some folk took a bath first, good hygiene is not to be sneezed at!)
Have a BEAUTIFUL DAY!!
Monday, July 25, 2011
Tuesday 26 July 2011 - what I got, I got a lot
If you think about it the average person has so much to be grateful for it's amazing they should whine and complain so much! Which they do! At championship levels!
Instead of being grateful they have a job and work to go to each day, they complain it's not the work they want, or love, or that the hours are too long, the boss is mean, my coworkers can't seem to stand my negative self or that the staff loo only has 1 ply bog rolls!
Instead of being grateful they have a car to drive and the freedom to do so, they whine about traffic and speed cops and petrol prices and how their car isn't as wow as someone else's car which has hideous fins stuck on it and a funny green light underneath that is ugly, but but but, still cool!!!
Instead of being happy they get a salary, they wish it was bigger and fatter and somewhere rivaling the wages god must draw once a month.
Instead of being thrilled they have enough to eat they complain about putting on weight, how the steak is underdone or how ice cream should be calorie free, but give me another serving anyway let's see just how much strain these pant's buttons can take!
Instead of feeling warm emotions that they have friends and family who care about them, they complain that they wish they'd stop phoning all the time, grouch about unexpected visits and forget the name of whatsherface's little brat.
The shelter over our head (Wish the house was bigger), our lovers (they could stand to lose a few pounds), our health (I'm 40 and don't look 20, why is that?) etc etc.
I know the human animal is a complex one, it loves to strive for what it doesn't have, and then let you know in long, voluminous detail, how it's struggle to achieve is going SO BADLY and draining them SO MUCH!!
But every now and then it's also good to have a sit down and take stock of all the things you do have! Your wealth not just in money but in friends, family and healthy living! All these things at your fingertips that you take for granted until the day they're not there and suddenly you realize that maybe, just maybe, you didn't have it so bad after all...
Instead of being grateful they have a job and work to go to each day, they complain it's not the work they want, or love, or that the hours are too long, the boss is mean, my coworkers can't seem to stand my negative self or that the staff loo only has 1 ply bog rolls!
Instead of being grateful they have a car to drive and the freedom to do so, they whine about traffic and speed cops and petrol prices and how their car isn't as wow as someone else's car which has hideous fins stuck on it and a funny green light underneath that is ugly, but but but, still cool!!!
Instead of being happy they get a salary, they wish it was bigger and fatter and somewhere rivaling the wages god must draw once a month.
Instead of being thrilled they have enough to eat they complain about putting on weight, how the steak is underdone or how ice cream should be calorie free, but give me another serving anyway let's see just how much strain these pant's buttons can take!
Instead of feeling warm emotions that they have friends and family who care about them, they complain that they wish they'd stop phoning all the time, grouch about unexpected visits and forget the name of whatsherface's little brat.
The shelter over our head (Wish the house was bigger), our lovers (they could stand to lose a few pounds), our health (I'm 40 and don't look 20, why is that?) etc etc.
I know the human animal is a complex one, it loves to strive for what it doesn't have, and then let you know in long, voluminous detail, how it's struggle to achieve is going SO BADLY and draining them SO MUCH!!
But every now and then it's also good to have a sit down and take stock of all the things you do have! Your wealth not just in money but in friends, family and healthy living! All these things at your fingertips that you take for granted until the day they're not there and suddenly you realize that maybe, just maybe, you didn't have it so bad after all...
Sunday, July 24, 2011
Monday 25 July 2011 - Life's little magics
Aren't home made things the nicest? That pair of socks that's slightly crooked but so warm on your cold, hairy feet? Or a flavourful, home-cooked meal with extra mashed potatoes and things swimming in the gravy best left unmentioned?
Is there anything nicer then knowing that there was effort and love, sweet hopes and desires that went into the making of such things? That they were made with warm feelings and simple joy? You must admit that for all their flaws, there's a little extra magic that goes into all home made goodies!
SO STOP RAGGING ON ABOUT THE BLANKET I'M KNITTING THAT LOOKS MORE LIKE A STARVED SCARF! IT'S HOME MADE DAMMIT!!! MAGICAL!! FULL OF LOVE!!! NEXT PERSON TO TEASE IT GETS A KNITTING NEEDLE SPEARED IN THEIR SOFT AND TENDERS!!!
Is there anything nicer then knowing that there was effort and love, sweet hopes and desires that went into the making of such things? That they were made with warm feelings and simple joy? You must admit that for all their flaws, there's a little extra magic that goes into all home made goodies!
SO STOP RAGGING ON ABOUT THE BLANKET I'M KNITTING THAT LOOKS MORE LIKE A STARVED SCARF! IT'S HOME MADE DAMMIT!!! MAGICAL!! FULL OF LOVE!!! NEXT PERSON TO TEASE IT GETS A KNITTING NEEDLE SPEARED IN THEIR SOFT AND TENDERS!!!
Wednesday, July 20, 2011
Thursday 21 July - Glory be!
I don't gamble.
Not because of self righteous views, (though I suspect I have a few to use in case of emergencies), nor religious views (in fact I find the religious enjoy gambling most of all, you gamble, go to church and be forgiven your sins, and still have time to make it back for some late Sunday night bingo), or even because I'm on a limited budget.
I just find it immensely dull!
I was taken to a casino once by an ex. We had a dollop of money to use and go nuts on! It was quiet an exciting thought! I'd never done it before and I figured there'd be tons of games to try my somewhat dodgy luck on! Really I thought it would be most entertaining!!
When we got there I decided no roulette for me, it was just a bit too much like giving away cash free, and no cards because I always lose at blackjack and poker. (Funny whenever I tell people that they immediately suggest a game of strip poker - wonder why...)
So I decided the machines it would be!
(I don't know what they're officially called. Back in my caveman days they were known as "one arm bandits" but they've lost their arms and "many buttoned boredom" is, I'm told not the right name, if the right description.)
Oh because it was boring!!!
All you do is feed your money in, press a button (If it's very thrilling then oh oh, maybe press a second button) and wait...
That's it!
There's no skill, no game, no fun! You win some cash or you lose twice as much.
Oh Nelly hold me down before the excitement bowls me over!
And yet folk do it! They do it for HOURS!! They specifically come to the casino to do just that!
Then you hear stories like, "I won R30 000!"
And I'm like, "My my! What did you do with it and can I swap two R10's for a R20?"
And they're reply?
"Well I won R30 000, but then I lost it again! But I did win it!!"
Um.
Ok.
We'll be sure to erect a plaque in your honour...
Then you find out not only did they lose that cash, but all the cash they came with as well and then they won't give your two R10's back because they want to eat something, anything, STOP BITING MY ARM!!!
I know some people win big. But it's a bit like when people say, "Your uncle Tad had no schoolin' n' he now owns two trailers n' a pig!"
Yes there are success stories but we hear about them because they are not the norm, they are the exception! The exception to the very big rule of YOU LOSE!
Well in the end, if it makes them happy and they don't forget their kids on the stove, well then, to each his own. But if we go then please drop me off at the movies or at the kiddies entertainment land so that my cash at least buys me memories I'm going to want to look back on!
Not because of self righteous views, (though I suspect I have a few to use in case of emergencies), nor religious views (in fact I find the religious enjoy gambling most of all, you gamble, go to church and be forgiven your sins, and still have time to make it back for some late Sunday night bingo), or even because I'm on a limited budget.
I just find it immensely dull!
I was taken to a casino once by an ex. We had a dollop of money to use and go nuts on! It was quiet an exciting thought! I'd never done it before and I figured there'd be tons of games to try my somewhat dodgy luck on! Really I thought it would be most entertaining!!
When we got there I decided no roulette for me, it was just a bit too much like giving away cash free, and no cards because I always lose at blackjack and poker. (Funny whenever I tell people that they immediately suggest a game of strip poker - wonder why...)
So I decided the machines it would be!
(I don't know what they're officially called. Back in my caveman days they were known as "one arm bandits" but they've lost their arms and "many buttoned boredom" is, I'm told not the right name, if the right description.)
Oh because it was boring!!!
All you do is feed your money in, press a button (If it's very thrilling then oh oh, maybe press a second button) and wait...
That's it!
There's no skill, no game, no fun! You win some cash or you lose twice as much.
Oh Nelly hold me down before the excitement bowls me over!
And yet folk do it! They do it for HOURS!! They specifically come to the casino to do just that!
Then you hear stories like, "I won R30 000!"
And I'm like, "My my! What did you do with it and can I swap two R10's for a R20?"
And they're reply?
"Well I won R30 000, but then I lost it again! But I did win it!!"
Um.
Ok.
We'll be sure to erect a plaque in your honour...
Then you find out not only did they lose that cash, but all the cash they came with as well and then they won't give your two R10's back because they want to eat something, anything, STOP BITING MY ARM!!!
I know some people win big. But it's a bit like when people say, "Your uncle Tad had no schoolin' n' he now owns two trailers n' a pig!"
Yes there are success stories but we hear about them because they are not the norm, they are the exception! The exception to the very big rule of YOU LOSE!
Well in the end, if it makes them happy and they don't forget their kids on the stove, well then, to each his own. But if we go then please drop me off at the movies or at the kiddies entertainment land so that my cash at least buys me memories I'm going to want to look back on!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)